Annoying Movie Welding

Welding Techniques, Theory, Machines and Questions.

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SteveHGraham
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Annoying Movie Welding

Post by SteveHGraham » Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:32 pm

Am I the only one who gets mad when movie and TV characters weld things in impossible ways?

Yesterday I watched an awful Spider-Man movie. The Staten Island Ferry had been split down the middle. Iron Man showed up and welded the two halves together, using his hand-ray things, WITHOUT SHIELDING GAS.

I was so mad. Imagine the porosity. And what about eye protection?

In the movies, everyone who has a laser is a welder. Superman welds stuff with his eyeballs. Where is his tank of argon?
Every hard-fried egg began life sunny-side up.

John Hasler
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Re: Annoying Movie Welding

Post by John Hasler » Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:57 pm

Science and technology are always bungled and garbled in movies even when they aren't fantasies. That's one of the reasons I no longer watch them.

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Re: Annoying Movie Welding

Post by BigDumbDinosaur » Fri Jul 13, 2018 4:23 pm

SteveHGraham wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:32 pm
Am I the only one who gets mad when movie and TV characters weld things in impossible ways?

Yesterday I watched an awful Spider-Man movie. The Staten Island Ferry had been split down the middle. Iron Man showed up and welded the two halves together, using his hand-ray things, WITHOUT SHIELDING GAS.

I was so mad. Imagine the porosity. And what about eye protection?

In the movies, everyone who has a laser is a welder. Superman welds stuff with his eyeballs. Where is his tank of argon?
It's Hollywood. Whaddya expect from a bunch of people who don't know anything?
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BadDog
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Re: Annoying Movie Welding

Post by BadDog » Fri Jul 13, 2018 5:47 pm

The welding is the least of it. I see things constantly that make me think that even a very poor low paid technical consultant would have avoided such an obvious blunder. But as others said, it's Hollyweird, and they just don't care if such things are even vaguely correct. It's all about their artistic vision and social commentary, don't bother them with details and facts or anything else even tenuously connected to reality (also explains their political positions, and silly (yet successful) "businesses" like GOOP).
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larry_g
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Re: Annoying Movie Welding

Post by larry_g » Sun Jul 15, 2018 4:06 pm

I kinda thing that the Hollywood set is primarily concerned with separating you from your money. They have no interest in training you how to weld, or any concern that .05% of their viewing audience find technical fault with their process.

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BadDog
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Re: Annoying Movie Welding

Post by BadDog » Sun Jul 15, 2018 6:35 pm

I would agree 100% with their primary motivation. But presumably the means to that end is telling engaging believable (in context anyway) and entertaining stories. And when EVERY professional in EVERY field that I've discussed such things with says the technical gaffs very much interfere with their remaining in an agreeable suspension of disbelief, it would seem something worth their notice. Given what they pay for set design, believable locations, filming angles and props to make ego maniacal over paid undersized (pick and chose or add as you feel appropriate) actors appear much taller/thinner/buffer/larger than they are, all for less relevant aspects to that same end, the fact that they put so very little into casual technical details that substantial members of their audience will find ludicrous is something I and many other find aggravating.

To put my comments in context with this specific topic, I don't have a problem with ironman welding with his (whatever those things are; weapons with minimal/no recoil while also providing propulsion all without mass acceleration?) because I've already readily suspended massive amounts of disbelief by accepting the basic premise and choosing to watch the movie, and since it's unclear exactly WHAT they are, maybe it could work (or at least I'm willing to make that leap). After all, this is Tony Stark who is not only completely off the charts in skills and knowledge of every sort, but has manual mills and lathes in what is portrayed as a fully automated private lab where simply spinning holograms and talking to his electronic sidekick seemingly autonomously realizes insanely complex and compact working prototypes in a matter of hours. But when more realistically (historic/modern/future) focused shows (regardless of genre) show what is clearly a plasma cutter or grinder with all indications including dialog that indicate the person is "welding" (including mundane aspects of shows like Iron Man), that's quite another thing. I can even accept and swallow the common "scratching at an arbitrary piece of metal with an SMAW electrode to make big spark showers" as a stand in for real welding, but why can't they be expected to try at least that hard when they put SO much stock in "accurately" portraying (their view) of far less important aspects I don't understand. From what I've gathered, among the most frustrated with Hollywood "artistic license" are those familiar with medical and electronic fields, but then again I'm very well versed in a subset of the latter and not totally ignorant of the former, so that could be a clear bias in itself...

That said, given the modern realization of the clearly prophetic "Idiocracy" where folks who can be bothered to show up for work semi-regularly at a fast food operation feel as if and are told they are worth $15+/hr (aka "a living wage"). When that is more than many who work for college degrees and trades earn, and much more in the case of most liberal arts degrees (but then again, I don't feel that particular segment is out of balance, but I digress) what do you expect. So to the point of the post I replied to, I unfortunately am forced to agree that those who actually know enough and pay attention enough to spot these things and be bothered by them are such a tiny fraction of the general demographic that it's really irrelevant. They could be watching shows about sentient robotic dinosaurs and societies composed of nothing but talking vehicles and they would be unlikely to notice the difference...
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warmstrong1955
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Re: Annoying Movie Welding

Post by warmstrong1955 » Sun Jul 15, 2018 7:03 pm

Hollyweird doesn't get much of any detail right. I think they are incapable of research, and either they pick a poor crop of experts, or they ignore the experts they hire.
If you see any movie or show, and see how they depict mining, and you were a miner, you would REALLY know what I mean. It's pathetic.

A good sport....is to sit around and critique movies for all the stupid wrong things they show.
Some alcohol is required.....

Last scene I remember that they got right, was in a John Wayne movie. The guy on the ridge took a shot with his Sharps, you could see the muzzle blast, a couple a seconds later a guy down below was hit....and then you heard the blast. Don't remember which flick it was.
But how about that....the correct order of things.... :)
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SteveHGraham
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Re: Annoying Movie Welding

Post by SteveHGraham » Sun Jul 15, 2018 8:10 pm

After all, this is Tony Stark who is not only completely off the charts in skills and knowledge of every sort, but has manual mills and lathes in what is portrayed as a fully automated private lab where simply spinning holograms and talking to his electronic sidekick seemingly autonomously realizes insanely complex and compact working prototypes in a matter of hours
That's annoying, too! Along with Batman and his idiot cave. Can you imagine trying to build a Batcave, full of computers and hydraulics and helipads and armor, without anyone finding out?

Building contractors are imbeciles and crooks. I don't care who disagrees. I deal with them all the time, and I'll go to the mat on this one. If you hire one to install a simple vanity, odds are about 90% he'll do it wrong, or he'll take off without finishing the job and stop answering your phone calls. They can't hang doors. They can't do wiring correctly. They can't do tile. And I'm talking about the licensed ones with good references. Imagine trying to locate enough competent contractors to create a superhero lair. Impossible!

Stark would have to spend 40 hours a week for at least a year getting his shop built and equipped, even with billionaire money. And imagine the crap the contractors would try to get away with, working without permits. "Code says you need concrete under your Cray supercomputer's cooling system, but particle board will work just fine."

As for being an expert in every field...I want to pummel him. I'm a fairly bright guy with a physics degree. I just put a 3D printer together, and after spending two days working on the awful software, I still can't get the stupid thing to work. Forget making designs. I can't even make other people's designs print. The software disconnects the PC from the printer at random intervals, and no one on the Internet knows why.

Somehow Tony Stark is an expert in computer science, electronics, robotics, machining, cybernetics, mechanical engineering, rocketry, nuclear physics, welding, CAD, biology, hot rod building, and every other subject known to man. In the real world, he would be pulling his hair out, just trying to get his exotic tools up and running.

I'm pretty excited if I can turn and thread a screw in 20 minutes. In 15, Tony Stark could design and build an air-conditioned suit that travels through time.
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Re: Annoying Movie Welding

Post by Patio » Sun Jul 15, 2018 10:27 pm

My thought on this, is like this....How welding is done without shielding gas, is the least of the questions, I would ask. How does that Superman guy fly, and he has X-Ray vision?....now those are real questions, if I was to ask them. It is make believe! Physic be damn!
I mean, can you believe it, Nemo was 9 leagues under the sea and he had a pipe organ too?! :)
Albert Einstein quote. "Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution."
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John Hasler
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Re: Annoying Movie Welding

Post by John Hasler » Sun Jul 15, 2018 10:46 pm

I like to read well-written fantasy. The problem with movie fantasy is that they make stuff up at random with no regard for internal consistency. They just do whatever they need to to move the plot along, as if they had not bothered to plan it out in advance. Superman is boring *because* he can do absolutely anything.

They also do pretty much the same thing in most movies that purport to be set in the real world, past or present.

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NP317
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Re: Annoying Movie Welding

Post by NP317 » Sun Jul 15, 2018 11:48 pm

Fortunately there are occasionally well-researched movies. "2001: A Spacey Odyssey" being one.
Kudos for that.

As for the Einstein quote: "Imagination is more important than knowledge."
I had that posted on my office entrance (decades ago) when my boss came in and asked: "What kind of idiot said that?"
I looked him in the eye and answered: "Albert Einstein."
He blanched and left. Unfortunately not permanently.

Can you name other technically well-resarched movies? They exist.
~RN

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SteveHGraham
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Re: Annoying Movie Welding

Post by SteveHGraham » Mon Jul 16, 2018 10:17 am

Einstein had his share of stupid ideas. Just saying.
Every hard-fried egg began life sunny-side up.

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